Developing a Thesis Statement Self Check - Text Only Answers

1. In order to persuade colonists to fight British dominion, Thomas Paine effectively employs appeals to logic and emotion in his pamphlet “The Crisis” and subsequently secured freedom for future Americans.

Excellent

Explanation:
This thesis statement tells what and how (appeals to logic and emotion) as well as why (to persuade colonists) and so what (secured freedom).

2. Ambrose Bierce wrote “An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge” about the Civil War.

Needs Improvement

Explanation:
This thesis statement is a good example of “The Sky is Blue” thesis that we talked about. It states the obvious, lacks specifics, and fails to tell us why this idea matters.

Improved version:
Although “An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge” is set during the Civil War, Ambrose Bierce does not favor the Union or Confederacy; instead, his uses the anonymity of the soldiers and Farquhar to illustrate the inhumane and arbitrary nature of war.

3. The naturalist ideas present in The Jungle serve not only to show the bleak, realistic life of the working poor but also to effect social reform on a profound scale.

Excellent

Explanation:
This thesis statement is concise and clear; it answers how (naturalist ideas) and why (to show…and to effect).

4. Dialect and humor are evident in Twain’s The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.

Needs Improvement

Explanation:
Although this thesis statement is specific and answers the questions of what and how, it does not tell the reader why Twain does this, what the effect is, or why it matters.

Improved version:
Twain effectively uses dialect and humor in his novel to subtly reveal the hypocrisy of mankind.

5. This paper will prove that Emily Dickinson’s life was lonely and sad, then it will show how that sad and lonely life affected her, and how that made her write poetry that is often sad but not always.

Needs Improvement

Explanation:
This thesis statement takes on a tour guide tone, and the idea gets lost in the wordiness and repetition.

Improved version:
Although she led a lonely life, Emily Dickinson was able to write effectively and powerfully of hope and life in her poem “Hope is a Thing with Feathers.”